I don’t HATE anyone, but I guess I do get annoyed fairly easily. Some days it’s fine, some days I want to punch everyone. I’ve already done a post about people I don’t particularly like. I then counteracted this with a more positive post about things I do actually like, but one place where I spend a lot of my time and find the most irritating of people is on the Tube. Living and working in London I am on the tube all the time as it is the usually the easiest and most convenient way to get around town. Some of the time my journey goes without hitch, but a lot of times I come across these 10 kinds of people that annoy the shit out of me….
This is my number one bug bear. When you get on the train DO NOT just stand right in the front of the doorway so everyone else has trouble getting on, just please move down inside the carriages. You are probably the same person who is still standing right in front of the door when people are trying to get off again, please just step out of the train and let us off, or else I will be forced to shove you out of the way in a very un-ladylike fashion. You are also probably the same person who does not wait for those to onboard to get off before you barge your way on. Tosser.
You know these ones, always men (hence the name) who sit on the tube with their legs as wide apart as humanly possible thus leaving even less room for everyone else. The worst thing is when you get sat between two of them. FFS!
DISABLED SEAT WANKERS
The sign is there, you take your chance when you sit in the first seat on the tube. That chance is that someone more worthy will get on and you will have to get up. It’s the rules. I avoid those seats because I can’t relax, always looking around to check if someone with a walking stick has got on, or a pregnant lady or just anyone that needs it more that me. Just don’t sit there, head down, headphones on, ignoring everyone else. It just won’t wash. Get up you ignorant idiot.
I get this a lot as my tube line goes to and from Heathrow. You might have just flown in from backpacking around Australia, but that does not mean your bag is more deserving of a seat than a person. Move it!
Often the same person as above. Yes, you may have just arrived back from some far flung hot country, but we are in London now. It’s 8 degrees. Why the f**k are you wearing flip flops? Did you not stop to think about this? I don’t really want to see your hairy toes at any time of the year, but at least in the summer I am mentally prepared for it.
Are you getting on? Are you getting off? Do you know where you are going? all this is fine, but DO NOT stand at the bottom of the escalator thinking about it, move to a less congested area please. Common sense. So many people have none. Most of them are on public transport.
Tissues people, tissues. If you have a cold, keep something handy to blow your nose on. The tube is a hot bed of disease as it is, without you snotting into your hand and then wiping it all over the place for us all to get sick. Ideally, if you are sick, stay at home. We don’t all want to get ill.
Hey Mr Cool Dude over there by the door. If I can hear your music through your headphones so clearly that I could sing along, then it’s too bloody loud. Also, I think it would ruin your street cred if you knew that we can all hear that you are actually listening to ‘Do You Believe in Love’ by Cher and not Drake…Fail.
Listen, I paid a lot of money for these shoes. So much money that I have to use public transport all the bloody time because I can’t afford Taxis. Look where you are treading, do not stand on my feet please. You great big oaf.
If I can smell your breath then you are too close. Move along please.
I just felt I needed to get all this off my chest. Will write about nice clothes again in a few days. Thank you for your patience and please stand on the left…
On a brighter note, there’s 30% extra off sandals this week at The Outnet. Summer is coming. I can feel it. Well, not today as I’m back in cashmere and a winter coat, but it’s got to be coming soon right?