A Shorts Story

Shorts. I would say one possibly of the most despised items of clothing to buy? Would you agree? We don’t want anything too short, too tight, too (god forbid) sexy. We just want a comfortable pair of shorts that make us feel ok about ourselves. I’d like to say at this point that you are never too old to wear shorts, cast aside those fears of knobbly knees and cellulite, we all have them and we don’t care that you’ve got them too.

Talking of ‘old’, I mentioned my perimenopausal state on Instagram this week and got SO many responses from ladies dealing with the same thing, and different things, things you never even knew could happen to you just because your hormones are up going up the spout. Personally my least favourite symptom is the current 2 periods a month I’m having, plus not being able to think of the right word all the time and forgetting literally EVERYTHING. Happily I’ve not yet had restless legs or TOO many hot flashes, but dry eyes and itchy skin – yes! who knew that was a symptom?

Anyway, this is a fashion blog not an old-lady health forum, but I am doing some research into things that might help, so I’ll share those over on Instagram or in another blog post at some point. For now let’s get into shorts. Literally I hope, as the weather looks like it is perking up again. Thankful for that. The holy grail of shorts were these ones from Topshop. I’ve featured them many times and now most sizes are sold out. But keep that link on file and check regularly as they do tend to come in and out of stock sporadically.

Best Shorts Ever. If they do come back in stock I will send an alert!

What is the Holy Grail of shorts I hear you cry? Well, for me they have to be loose fitting, especially around the hem. I don’t want my flesh squeezed in any way. I need a decent gap between my legs and my shorts hem. Nothing too low rise, I like a good waist. and nothing that’s too short. Arse cheeks should be for you and not to be viewed by the general public. Unless that’s your ‘thing’, in which case go for it, but to be honest if that is your thing, you’re reading the wrong blog.

Read on to find the shorts you deserve. Let me tell you this wasn’t an easy blog to research Good looking shorts seem to be very thin on the ground right now…

DENIM SHORTS

We all need and deserve a good pair of denim shorts in the summer months. You could of course make your own. The trick to this is to ensure you use a pair of baggy jeans, or you will end up with a thigh squeezer pair and we’ve already established we are not those kind of girls. If you do make your own, be generous with your cut as they will fray more each time you wash them. For those of you who can’t be arsed to make your own, look for shorts named as ‘Boyfriend’, ‘Paperbag’ or ‘Balloon’ Fit. They should give you the thigh room you deserve.

Note to self… You. Do. Not. Need. Another. Anine. Bing. Sweatshirt…. But, but ,but, it has a hood!

1. Le Specs Liar Liar Cats Eye Sunglasses
2. Anine Bing Rowe Eagle Hoodie
3. H&M Paperbag Waist Shorts
4. Nike Blazer Mid 77 Trainers
5. Mango High Waist Shorts 

KHAKI SHORTS

The second best classic after your denim shorts is your khakis. The high summer alternative to those khaki trousers you now own (because, remember I told you they were a wardrobe staple). If it’s good enough for Jennifer Aniston then it’s good enough for me. I know she’s a very thin and beautiful Hollywood star, but that’s not the point. I think the best of the bunch are these ones from AND/OR. They tick all my shorts boxes plus they look nice and flowy for extra breeze when it’s hot. I even like the tie belt and I’m usually one to ditch that kind of caper right away. Pair with some leopard and a quality black T Shirt.

1. Hush Leopard Print Canvas Jacket
2. American Vintage Jacksonville Black T Shirt
3. Monsoon Pure Linen Lottie Shorts
4. AND/OR Pippa Tencel Shorts
5. Clarks Cross Strap Leather Leopard Sandals 

SMART / LONGER SHORTS

So, you might not be comfortable with short shorts, so the longer length variety might be what you’re after instead. Also if you are working anywhere other than your own home right now you might want something a little smarter. Look for linen blend or chino style shorts. I’d pair with a fancy blouse and some good sandals. Talking of sandals, check these ones from Dune! Even though I promised myself I wasn’t going to buy any more pairs this year, I’ve got a deep love of these. They are almost exactly the same as the Chanel ones but £700 cheaper!

1. & Other Stories Woven Straw Bucket Hat
2. River Island Broderie Frill Top
3. Monki Bermuda Shorts
4. La Redoute Cotton Pleat Shorts
5. Dune Lockstock Tweed Sandals
6.Top Shop Hazy Leopard Leather Sandals

PATTERN SHORTS

Let’s just imagine for one minute that you were able to go on holiday this year. I Imagine you’d be sitting at the beach bar drinking a cool Mojito wearing some tropical print shorts. But, you can have that cocktail at home on your patio or your front step and you can still wear your fancy printed shorts. Mojito is my favourite summer cocktail and so easy to make, you don’t need a shaker or anything fancy either. I make them like this:

Crush Ice Cubes by putting in a plastic bag a smashing with a rolling pin
Take a good tall solid glass
Fill glass with 1 teaspoon of brown sugar, juice of one lime and handful of fresh mint leaves
Mush this together using the rolling pin you’ve already used to smash your ice
Add the ice so it fills half the glass
Pour over a double shot of Rum (ideally a good amber one like Mount Gay)
Top up with Fizzy Water
Stir well and serve.

Enjoy and thank me later. By the way, if you don’t like Rum, you can substitute for Tequila (or even gin or vodka I guess, but I’ve not tried it with either of those) If you’re not a drinker, then try it with elderflower fizz instead of soda water.

1. Gap Perfect Poplin Shirt
2. Desmond & Dempsey x H&M Printed Vest Top
3. H&M Lemon Print Elastic Waist Shorts
4. Desmond & Dempsey x H&M Printed Shorts
5. & Other Stories Cream Leather Sandals 

CULOTTES

Finally the shorts for the people who won’t wear shorts. We call them culottes. They are a firm favourite of mine. Also could be just a pair of wide leg cropped trousers, but culottes sounds more fancy. More French. An easy breezy alternative if you really don’t want to show those knees. The older your knees get the more likely they are to look like Les Dawsons face. Or is that just mine?

1. & Other Stories Tiger Print Shirt
2. The Outnet Ganni Wrap Top
3. Monsoon Tally Cropped Trousers
4. Oliver Bonas Sage Green Culottes
5. Dune Kyoto Comfort Sandals
6. Adidas Ozweego Trainers 

Next week I’m thinking a trainer update. Or in the same vein as my Sandals blog where I talk you through my most comfortable trainers ever? Because there really is nothing more disappointing than an uncomfortable trainer.

K x