Birthdays and Birth Days

Indulge me for a minute as today is my birthday and I felt like writing a little bit about it. I have never much liked my birthday. Mainly due to the fact that it is in early January. January is the Monday of the year. The Crocs of the year, The salad-when-all-you-wanted-was-a pie-as-big-as-your-head of the year. In short, the dullest month of all time. The month when most people you chance upon have a face like a slapped arse, or they are on a diet, or they are, god forbid, doing dry bloody January. You seriously need a drink to get though it.

It was always ever thus, even when I was growing up. Every year I chastised my parents for not having the foresight to have had a baby at a better time of year. Yet, what did I do 12 years ago? I went and had my own first born on my actual birthday. What are the chances? (at a guess about 365/1)

He wasn’t supposed to have been born that day. For a start I got pregnant on the very first time of trying. When does that ever happen? Then he was supposed to have been born on Dec 31st, which would be brilliant day for birthday. Everyone would be up for fun and there would ALWAYS have been a party to go to, but no, instead he was late, 12 days late. My husband doesn’t drive, have I mentioned that?, so I WALKED to the hospital to be induced at 9am on Jan 10th 2005. It took forever, the induction, not the walk to hospital. We spent all day wandering around the hospital grounds, peering through windows, eating vending machine chocolate and reading Take a Break Magazine, this was in those heady days before social media existed as the best time waster known to man.

Just as I was about to really get going with the whole birth thing, right after the midwife broke my waters with a knitting needle, my husband went home to ‘feed the cats’. He came back 2 hours later having stopped off at the pub for a bit. (I know! WTF?) I’m in agony. Epidural is given. A rather lack lustre attempt at pushing, then a stern telling-off from the midwife, ‘Stop f-ing about and push this baby out’, a more concerted effort from me and a baby is born at 12.01am on January 11th. We called him Alfred Hiscox. Someone suggested it as a joke ‘Lols, sounds a bit like Alfred Hitchcock’, but when push came to shove it just kind of suited him. He was born a grumpy old man and he remains a grumpy young pre-teen.

As we share a birthday, we also share a lot of the same traits. I was the angriest child known to man, he’s the same. I was obsessed with chocolate (still am), he’s the same. I was a total string-bean, not an ounce of fat on me (until I hit 22 and discovered beer and it went downhill from there), he’s the same. Almost every trait I have, good or bad I can see in him. It’s kind of freaky, and knowing what an absolute arsehole I was as a teenager is a worry, but I turned out OK in the end so I’m hopeful we’ll all get through it.

Anyway, thanks for indulging me. Happy Birthday Alfie and Happy Birthday me. I look forward to 2023, when I’ll turn 50 and he will turn 18 and I will force him to have a joint party with me under pain of death.

kate and alfie

To cheer myself up on my Birthday I usually buy myself something nice – what a surprise. I have just bought myself these stupid shoes. Yes, I already have some, but it was the silvers I wanted and these were HALF PRICE! (yes, I am shouting)

Stella McCartney Silver Elyse shoes

What I really, really want is this bag. I have started a savings fund for it.

gucci Marmont bag

I also really want these, another stupid pair of shoes to add to my stupid shoes collection.

gucci princetown fur lined loafer


I hope all you fellow January Birthday ladies out there enjoy your day. If your birthday is at this time of year I would love to know how you feel…


K x

25 thoughts on “Birthdays and Birth Days

  1. My birthday is early January and my eldest son is 4 days before mine on 4th January – when I’m 50 he will be 21 so like you I’m thinking joint party but I’m sure he’ll not agree lol – I have already shared my 30th birthday with him when he turned 1.
    One positive of January birthdays are the sales. … like you, I gift to myself and somehow I don’t feel so bad as I get bargains …. this year’s lulu Guinness vanity lips case which is lush and some boux avenue purchases. And just as quick as Christmas comes and goes so does the birthday for another year :(((
    Happy Birthday to you and your son xx

  2. Happy Birthday to you and Alfred. Yours is THE BEST and MY FAVOURITE blog and ig and I’m glad I found you in 2016. To top it off you are sooo funny and your pics and blogs always put a spring in my step. So here’s a THANK YOU to you on your birthday. Many happy returns. Cheers!🍻

    1. thanks so much Dranna! I still find it amazing that people come here to read my stuff! I will try and keep it up this year as I am really enjoying writing again x

  3. My uni bestie’s birthday was Jan 2nd – so reading your post was like listening to her!
    If it’s any consolation, my early June birthday was fab as a young kid, but at secondary school and many years beyond it was sandwiched in between exams or week before exams.. no one ever wanted to go out 😐
    And I too walked to hospital with my 15 days late first born… the second, an advised c-section, I was offered 2 dates: June 6 (my birthday) or June 8 (husband’s birthday).. . I let him share the day given I’d grown & babies around for a total of 82 weeks in my life!!! Happy Birthday! 🎉

  4. My other half turned 40 on the 10th Jan and I organised a surprise party at the pub for him on Sunday afternoon. He never bothers with his bday (for all the reasons you’ve listed above) and it was so nice to gather a load of us for a cosy roast n day time piss up – the only logical thing to do on a cold dreary January wkend 🙂 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Xx

  5. I love your comments about buying “stupid shoes” – do the same myself, what is it about shoes and bags? There’s always another one we just need to have! Love your blog, always check to see if there’s a new post- keep it up please!

  6. We are sharing a birthday! Totally agree that it is pants! My parents often could not be arsed to celebrate my birthday (no 7 child born in January…) and then when I turned 14 they totally forgot! I left to school thinking a surprise party would welcome me home. Never happened!
    I am glad you have a son to share the occasion! Neither of you will ever ignore that birthday!
    Anyway thank you for entertaining me on a regular basis and keeping my credit card company in business (So far I have succumbed to 2 pairs of Gucci loafers…) 🙂

    1. Oh god! to totally forget is unforgivable! I feel so sorry for your 14 year old self! I hope they were mortified when they realised. Gucci loafers are the best. I so want those furry ones now but I will try and resist (for now!) Thanks for reading x

  7. They have never apologised for it – long standing resentment there…that might explain some of my unreasonable behaviours. so somewhere I can thank them!
    the furry ones are totally bonkers, save up!

  8. Hi Kate, really enjoy reading your blog & instagram. When I met my partner 25 years ago I quickly found out he had the same birthday as me on 12th February. Not sure I like sharing my birthday but at least he never forgets it. Hope you & your son had a lovely day x

    1. I hear you! But the joint parties must have been good! and yes, neither of you can ever forget! x

  9. My birthday is January 30 and some cheapskate always buys me a diary, every year! Nobody ever has any money to go out, everyone is on a diet, but we do have great sales. So far, I’ve had three Netaporter deliveries to my office this month, hooray! Love your blog, Kate x

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