10 Signs You Have Reached Middle Age

 

Today is my birthday. I am now 45 whole years old. That most definitely is middle aged. In fact realistically, it’s probably past middle age but if by any stretch of the imagination I do live to be 90, then this year is slap bang in the middle of my life. I’m not sure how I feel about living to be 90. It could go either way.  I could be a dribbling wreck in nursing home being a drain upon my family, or I could just expire in the comfort of my own home – which will have to be a bungalow or a ground floor flat by then I should imagine, although I wouldn’t be adverse to a Stanna Stairlift. But, Hey, I’m not dead yet so here are my 10 signs that you really are middle-aged. Obviously as ever, when I say ‘You’, I mean me…

1. The radio in your car is permanently tuned to Magic FM. I’m like my very own minicab driver. I like the sweet sweet sounds of Mellow Magic. If I don’t hear ‘She’s Like The Wind’ by Patrick Swayze or ‘Broken Wings’ by Mr Mister at least once on a long car journey, then I’m just not happy.

middle age patrick swayze

2. The car you drive is that People Carrier you said you would never own. Or is that just me? I swore down that I would never have a ‘family’ car, but I did end up trading in my non family friendly mini for the cheapest 7 seater money could buy. It’s not cool, but it is practical when there are tip runs, football teams and Ikea cupboards to cart around. Plus if I’m going to listen the offical radio station of all Addison Lee cab drivers, I may as well have the same kind of car.

3. The font on your phone is so large it is visible from space. Because god-forbid you’d have to get your glasses out. This one hasn’t actually happened to me yet, but only because I am already so short-sighted that I can’t see more than 4 feet in front of my face without the aid of contacts or bottle top glasses.  I fear it will still happen and bifocals will be the only option. Maybe I’ll wear them on the chain around my neck.

middle age phones

4. Large pants rule. Your underwear drawer is no longer full of lace and skimpy numbers. It features a good sensible selection of big pants and an abundance of thermals. I like a lot of coverage and I like to be warm. Being cold and uncomfortable is just not an option.

5. Loungerwear is King. Talking of warmth and comfort, I suspect you’ll also have a large selection of loungewear. Dressing up for leaving the house is still something I very much advocate. Never give up on fashion ladies, but once within the confines of your own home, all bets are off, as is the bra, the trousers and the shoes.

middle age lounge wear

6. Comfortable shoes are key. On the theme of comfort, that also applies to shoes. No longer can I go for a day in heels. Although to be fair I don’t think ever was much of a heels girl, but I also have no patience with shoes that need to be ‘broken in’, a shoe should always be both comfortable and stylish. I will always still wear the best shoes I can. I will not ever into M&S Footglove territory just yet!

7. You favour an early start rather than late night. I have serious trouble staying awake past midnight, or even past 11pm, but I no longer fear an early wake-up. I’d rather be tucked up in bed with Netflix by 10pm than out at the latest place. I’d also rather go for lunch than dinner. A heavy meal in the evening is no good for my digestive system…

8. You spend quite a lot of time in front of the mirror,  pulling your skin back and wondering if a full face lift really is the only option left. Is any amount of exercise going to lift my jaw line to the place it once was? Can I be arsed to even try? It’s easier to just use polonecks and scarves to hide the issue. When it gets too warm for them, I might think about going for run, or more likely, a nice brisk walk.

middle age mirror

9. You can’t turn off the Playstation without the aid of a child. Literally every single time I have to ask one of them to do it, and put it back on the TV programme I want to watch. I like to think I’m quite good with technology, I mean I’ve mastered this blogging thing, but there are some things I just can’t be bothered to work out.

10. Afternoon naps give you more pleasure than almost anything else. There is nothing I love more than an afternoon sofa nap. I only need 10 minutes but it’s just glorious. The thing I look forward to most about retirement is the ability to nap on a daily basis.

middle age naps

There are so many more I could list. What are your sure-fire signs that you are getting older? I’d like to say I am embracing the ageing process but that would only be half true, in fact it would be a lie.

Fashion will retun on Sunday.

K x

21 thoughts on “10 Signs You Have Reached Middle Age

  1. Happy Birthday Grandma. I’m 41 this year and can’t turn off a playstation either. Hope you have a great day! Love ALL your posts xx

  2. Happy birthday middle-aged blogger daughter. It’s comforting and alarming in equal proportion to see you are inevitably morphing into your parents. But really, even (nearly) 75 isn’t so bad. Way to go yet.

  3. I thought I’ll have a read of this – none will apply to me I’m only 44!! But shit no….all of the above except I listen to radio 2 (better or worse? Who knows!)
    Oh well, I still think I’m cool 😎😂…just comfy and warm at the same time 😉

  4. I’m hitting 45 this year too….1973 was clearly the year that rocked! Also on my list….bars with seating…if I can’t sit down, I’m not going. And more often than not I don’t go anyway…once the bra is off…that is it!

  5. Happy Birthday! I’d say it’s all crashing downhill from the point when the voice in your head is on repeat with ‘OMG – you sound like your mother/grandmother’ In my defence the teenagers describe my choice of music as ‘a bit loud isn’t it?’ 🙂 X

  6. Love this – happy birthday! I’m busy chortling at your post, then realised I’m 44 this year, hadn’t thought about being middle aged before 😳 I listen to radio 6 and fortunately no play station to wrestle with – yet.
    In a fancy restaurant on New Year’s Day, my son thought it was very funny to tell my brother in law how I fling off my bra and bottoms every evening, and leave discarded bras down the side of the sofa. Hopefully I’m not the only one who does this…

  7. My sign is that I have a blanket on my knee as I’m reading this. I’m 38 😂. The blanket is cashmere though 😉

  8. Yes to most of these, except I will always, ALWAYS be a night bird – I have no trouble staying up into the wee hours watching all manner of shite on TV, even though I have to get up at 7am. Hate early mornings with a passion, even if I’m doing something great, like going on holiday (which is why, 9 times out of 10, I will check into an airport hotel just so I get an extra hour or so in bed.) Oh, and Radio 4 trumps the easy listenings, except when Jo Whiley’s on Radio 2. But then I am almost 3 years older than you…

  9. A belated happy birthday. Big knickers are a thing of joy 😁 Now to save for those Gucci loafers 😉. Roll on 50 😊

  10. Number 8 – on a regular basis! I am 52 and counting – thought of trying the Joan Collins ‘tit tape and a wig’ method……

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